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 The Kemer
Kronicle |
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Volume 3 Issue 4 |
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January 2004 |
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EDITORIAL
Merhaba . . . .
So here we are at the end of January already and still loads of jobs to do on the boat?? Still the bad weather
has nearly finished now hasn’t it? It’s nice to see so many friends starting to return to the marina after
their trips back home or elsewhere and of course many more to come yet. Please don’t forget, we always like to
have articles from other live-aboards for inclusion in the KK. The content is not important – just the
contribution. Until next month keep on with all the work but more important – keep partying.
Ron & Julie
‘Gladlee of Guernsey’
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How
did Vikings communicate with each other? Norse Code
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Inter-Marina B-B-Q’s
Plans are already underway for the annual Inter-Marina B-B-Q’s and the first one should be held late February in
Finike. Mid-March should see Kemer hosting and Antalya should be hosting mid-April. Watch the notice boards for
details. |
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Forthcoming Events:
Valentines Day Party
(see notice board for details)
A weekly
list of activities is posted on the notice board.
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Shipwreck
One of the results of the storms during January was the grounding of a small
tanker on the reef just outside the marina. The good news was that all the crew and the captain were taken
off with no injuries. The bad news was that it took the Sahil Guvenlik 14 hours to get help to them.
On the same day a Gulet was wrecked entering Antalya harbour and the
Liveaboards spent the next day fending off refrigerators, tables, chairs etc.
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What a way to go….
The ongoing spate of
Internet reports of unusual deaths, both real and fictional, might lead some to believe extraordinary modes of
demise are a recent phenomenon. Nothing could be further from the truth -- the Grim Reaper has always found
incredible methods of ending human life.
One such instance
took place in 1814 in London. On October 17 of that year, a rupture in a brewery tank containing 3,500 barrels
of beer caused a flood of fatal proportions in the London parish of St. Giles. The wave of beer swept victims
off their feet, dashed them against walls, and buried them under debris. Two houses were demolished in the sea
of beer suddenly loosed upon town, and nine people lost their lives in the flood of suds.
America endured a
comparable disaster in January 1919 when a rupture in a molasses tank unleashed a flood of goo that killed
twenty-one Bostonians.
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Scottish Sea Fare
Atholl Brose
2 bottles Whiskey
1/2
bottle cream
1/2 lb. pound
oatmeal
1/2 lb. pound honey
1 tablespoon brandy
Soak the oatmeal in
the whiskey for 24 hours. Drain the whiskey into a container carefully straining out all the oatmeal.
Pour on cream (with
brandy – which should stop the cream curdling) very very slowly stirring with a wooden spoon.
Add the honey even
more slowly stirring all the time.
Frequent tasting is
required.
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THE (BAGLESS)
HAGGIS
1/2 lb. beef liver
2 lamb kidneys
3/4 lb. lamb shoulder
1/4 lb beef suet
2 onions, minced
1 cup oatmeal
1 cup stock
salt and pepper
Boil the meats for an
hour. Cool. Grate the liver. Chop the others fine. Chop the suet. Toast the oatmeal in a shallow pan in the
oven, shaking occasionally. Mix the meats, suet, onions and oatmeal together with a cup of the stock in which
liver and meats were cooked. Add salt and plenty of pepper to taste.
Turn into greased Pyrex
bowl. Cover with 2 or 3 layers of foil. Steam on a rack in a pan of boiling water for 2 hours, adding more
boiling water as it boils away. |
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Burn’s Night
Another Burns Night success. Following on from the huge success of
last year Burns Night this year was no less a success and everyone seemed to get into the spirit of the night.
Lots of tartan in evidence, a couple of ‘makeshift’ kilts appeared as did a wonderful set of Bagpipes. The
speeches were all wonderful, the poetry no less so and the Scottish Dancing that followed the meal was an
entertainment in itself.
Many thanks to lots of people including of course Chris and Mary
for most of the organising, the Kemer Khorale for a couple of rousing numbers and the chefs, who after some
trepidation managed to produce an excellent meal.
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Sunday Outings
Meadow and on – Ron, Julie & Trish
A relatively easy walk up to
the meadow where we all enjoyed a picnic lunch in beautiful sunshine overlooking the sea from the end of the
peninsula. About half of the group then made their way back while the rest of us took the long route back around
the end of the peninsula, through Brians Garden and back over the top.
Brian’s Garden – Ron & Julie
Basically a reverse of the above walk though with some difficulties in finding the right track (or any track
come to that). A couple of problems encountered on this walk with Bob from S/Y Meg gouging a hole in his
forehead and Wolf from Protea getting totally lost necessitating a late search party including marina staff,
police etc.
Side – Bob & Jean
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early risers made their way to Side to enjoy the theatre, museum and other sites of Side. After a little delay
getting the places to open I.m sure everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves.
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If you see a certain Canadian
walking about with his hands in his pockets he is probably checking his investments on his personal “Bourses” |
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Australia
Day
They’re not all bad these Aussies you know. At least on the 26th January there were a good few decent
ones about. Of course at 2359 they all disappeared and we were left with the usual rabble.
A
superb Barbeque was provided by our resident upsidedowners following which we were all asked to take the oath of
allegiance and become upsidedowners for the day. Mind you it all started with a ‘cheap shot’ getting yours truly
to be NICE to the colonials (Yeukk) but I did get a lovely little bear for my pains.
As things got a little colder
we all moved inside to the warmth of the bar where the best dessert trolley you’ve ever seen was presented to
us. It wouldn’t have been the same without
the Bread & Butter Pudding though would it? |
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Many, many thanks to Sue, Val, Ross and Tony for making it such a superb day.
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Beer makes you
smarter
A herd of
buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest
ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the
general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular attrition of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine.
That's why
you always feel smarter after a few beers.
(And why
Julie Smart drinks lots of beer – and Ron is getting Smart). |
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Poet’s Corner
THE SAILOR’S
CONSOLATION
One Night came on a hurricane,
The sea was mountains rolling,
When Barney Buntline slewed his quid
And said to Billy Bowline:
“A strong nor’-wester’s blowing,
Bill:
Hark, don’t you hear it roar now?
Lord help ‘em, how I pities them
Unhappy folks on Shore now.”
“Foolhardy chaps as live in towns,
What danger they are all in,
And now lie quaking in their beds,
For fear the roof should fall in!!
Poor creatures, how they envies us
And wishes, I’ve a notion,
For our good luck in such a storm,
To be upon the ocean!!”
“And as for them that’s out all day
On business from their houses,
And late at night returning home
To cheer their babes and spouses;
While you and I, Bill, on the deck
Are comfortably Lying,
My eyes! What tiles and chimney-pots
About their heads are flying!”
“Both you and I have oft time heard
How men are killed and undone
By overturns from carriages,
By thieves and fires, in London.
We know what risks these landsmen
run,
From Noblemen to tailors,
Then, Bill, let us thank Providence
That you and I are Sailors.
By Charles Dibden.
(Courtesy ‘Y- Not’)
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CAPTION
COMPETITION
(Welcome to the Synagogue – Och the Noo)
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Why is a Ship/Yacht called a “SHE”
A
ship/yacht is called a “SHE” because there is always a lot of bustle about her; and there is usually a gang of
men attending to her needs.
She has a
waist and stays; it takes a lot of paint to keep her good looking; and it is not the initial cost that breaks
you, it is the continual upkeep.
She can be
all decked out; it takes an experienced man to handle her correctly; and without a man at the helm, she can be
absolutely uncontrollable.
She shows
her topsides, hides her bottom; when coming into port, always heads for the buoys.
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Fire
In addition to the
previously reported shipwreck last month we also had a fire in the marina. The fire was in the battery box
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of
a locally registered powerboat. No great damage done as the boat was towed out to the swimming pontoon where the
local fire brigade dealt with matters effectively. The main message is check your own battery areas for possible
short-circuit problems.
US Army Voice Mail Message
Thank you for calling the
United States Army. I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged. Please
leave a detailed message with your country, name of organization, the region, the specific crisis, and a
number at which we can call you.
As soon as we have sorted out
Central Asia, the Balkans, Iraq, Korea, Communist China, and compulsory "Consideration Of Others" training,
we will return your call. Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to the
following numbers:
If your crisis is small, and
close to the sea, press 1 for the United States Marine Corps.
If your concern is distant,
with a temperate climate and good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low risk, high altitude bombing
runs, please press 2 for the United States Air Force. Please note this service is not available after 1630
hours, on weekends, or in bad weather.
Special consideration
will be given to customers requiring satellite or stealth technology who can provide additional research and
development funding.
If your inquiry concerns a situation which can be
resolved by a bit of gray funnel, bunting, flags |
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and a really good marching
band, please press 3 and speak slowly to the United States Navy. Please note that Tomahawk missile service
is extremely limited and will be provided on a first-come, first-served basis.
If your inquiry is not
urgent, please press 4 for the Rapid Deployment Force and wait two weeks for delivery.
If you are in real hot
trouble, please press 5, and your call will be routed to the United States Army Special Operations Command
for an additional fee of $10. Please note that a compulsory credit check will be required to ensure you can
afford the inherent TDY costs. Also be aware that USASOC may bill your account at any time and is not
required to tell you why, as it will be classified.
If you are interested in
joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthritis, put your wife and family
in a condemned hut miles from civilization, are prepared to work your butt off daily, risking your life, in
all weather and terrain, both day and night, and while watching Congress erode your original benefits
package, then please stay on the line, Your call will shortly be connected to a bitter passed-over Army
Recruiter in an old strip mall down by the Post Office. Have a pleasant day, and thank you for trying to
contact the United States Army.
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Spotted in a toilet in a London
office block: Toilet out of order please use floor below. |
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